Deus Ex Naruto's Genin Test
by xBud
Summary: Even travelling through time can't make Naruto learn how to do the Bushin no Jutsu. How is he gonna pass his genin exam? This story takes select parts of Naruto and ruthlessly exploits them for their hilarity value, with interest!
1. Genin Exam

_Premise: Naruto has travelled back in time to his genin test, so he can save Sasuke before he goes to Orochimaru for power._

ANNNND, Start.

"Naruto! Make two bushins and you pass" Iruka said while standing beside Mizuki.

'Damn, I still suck at those…I know! "Sensei, can I make any type of bushin?"

Silence.

Iruka blinked heavily. "Types…? Stop trying to play pranks! I don't want more shenanigans like the _Orioke no Jutsu_. Two bushins to pass Naruto."

'Well there goes that idea, now what?'

…

"Alright sensei! I'll do it, I'm gonna be the Village Hidden in the Leaf's Kage…Bushin no Jutsu!"

POOF.

_And so began Naruto's first (again) foray into the ninja world._


	2. Frying Pan

"So, dobe, you've come to stop me too?" Sasuke sneered as Naruto came into view at what could be seen as the Valley of the End.

"Stop you? Hell, I'm running away with you" said a spooked looking Naruto. "I just heard Kakashi's chasing us."

Blink. "You… Huh? What are you talking about dobe? You're just trying to confuse me aren't you,? As soon as I turn my back…"

"Bastard let's go before Kakashi catches up" Naruto shuddered at the thought.

"Buhh...whaa... No! I'm not going anywhere until you tell me why you're running…and from Kakashi at that!"

"Jeez, fine, if it gets us moving fast I don't care… You know how he's always reading that orange book of his?"

Eugh. "Dobe why the heck are you bringing that piece of crap up right now? Sasuke knew he should just turn around and never look back… but he just had to know, 'What does Kakashi have to do with him running away from the village when he wants to become Hokage?'

"Well… you know how he's always reading it everywhere? And he pretty much ignores practically all the women we ever come across in missions?"

"Yea…? So what?"

"So what did you say he focused on while training with you for the Chunin exam final?"

"Upping my speed, Chidori, and grappling… Oh god!" Sasuke threw up on the ground. "That, that bastard! He was just pretending to teach me for the chunin exam, when he was actually…eugh!"

Naruto piped up grimly, "Like I said, I'm coming with you. There's no way I'm becoming the focus of his 'teaching' with you gone."

And so the two ran away from Konoha to avoid THAT kind of a pervert… to Orochimaru.

_Out of the frying pan and into the fire indeed._


	3. How far do apples fall from trees?

_Premise: Naruto is travelling with Jiryaya to find Tsunade. On the way, Jiryaya is teaching him the technique known as rasengan._

"Naruto! If you'll just shut up, I'll teach you the Rasengan!" yelled a quite annoyed Jiryaya. 'I knew taking him along was going to be a problem.' He's not even young enough to use him to pick up the ladies. ' Sigh. 'Troublesome brat.'

"Really? Really! Awesome, I can't wait to shove this in Sasugay's face! Hah, he will bow before the power of Naruto Uzumaki, Hahaha!"

'Aw geez, now I actually have to teach him? I was going to go do some 'research' in that town we just left. What to do, what to do?' "Alright Naruto, listen up! This technique is super powerful; all you have to do is focus power in your hands and concentrate really, really hard, and be very quiet."

"…"

"…"

"Quit messing with me pervy-sage! Even I know you gotta say the name of the technique when doing it! Iruka sensei said so!"

'Damn, I was really hoping he would buy that…' "That's for normal techniques Naruto, this is super special, almost as super as the Super Pervert Jiryaya! You've got to…uh, say the words to yourself while you're powering it up! Yea. And it's different for everybody. Only when you're as good as I am, you can just say the name." 'Just buy it, just buy it' Jiryaya wished feverently.

"… I'm gonna be the best ninja ever as soon as I master this! Dattebayo!"

'Jackpot, "alright Naruto, I'm gonna go pick up some supplies I forgot in our room back at the hotel, then we will go to Otafuku Gai, I think the one we're looking might be there."

TIMESKIP

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME YOU BRAT?! LETS TAKE IT OUTSIDE NOW!" yelled a pissed off Tsunade, who could be mistaken for a raging bull at the moment.

"Bring it on Granny! I'll just beat you with my new technique!"

"Hah, I'd like to see you try. Tell you what; I'll even let you take the first shot. If you can even scratch me, I'll give you this necklace" Tsunade proclaimed while holding up the shodaime's necklace from around her neck.

"Why would I want that piece of crap? Whatever, I'll still beat you." As Naruto said this, he put out his hands and began to focus.

Tsunade just looked on skeptically, while Jiryaya whispered to himself (not quite quiet enough for her not to overhear) "No way, did that brat actually figure out the Rasengan without any instructions?"

Tsunade looked over alarmed, "What the heck are you talking about, why'd you teach a no good…oh, he's their kid isn't he? That still doesn't give you the right to…" She would have said more, but just then Naruto's hand started to glow red. "What the…what's happening?"

Jiryaya's thoughts raced, 'That's not the Rasengan, did he make a deal with the Kyuubi while I left him alone?'

_While Jiryaya and Tsunade were having their conversation, Naruto was:_

'Alright, this is my one chance to show how awesome I am. Let's see, how did that go again?' And Naruto began to intone to himself in a quiet voice as he held his hands out:

"**Darkness beyond twilight. Crimson beyond blood that flows.**

**Buried in the flow of time, In thy great name, I pledge myself to darkness.**

**Let all the fools who stand in our way be destroyed by the power you and I possess..."  
**

"**DRAGON SLAVE RASENGAN!"**

_It should be known that before Uzumaki Kushina came to Konoha, she loved to play with her favorite cousin – Lina Inverse._


End file.
